Before you start complaining that I’m discussing religion, stop right there, I’m not.  Basically religion is what it is and I’m not going to ruin anyone’s mojo by ranting on the topic.  Granted, you’re on a porn website, even if I was writing about religion your big old hypocrite self should keep your pie hole shut.  Okay okay, but it’s not about religion exactly, it’s about people using ‘OH GOD’ during sex.

I shouldn’t just say using the saying like it happens randomly every once and awhile.  No, some people will say, “Oh God!” around 100 times during sex.  It’s this abuse that has led to this article.  I’m sorry, you’ve all ruined a good thing by overusing it.  Here’s the Top 5 reasons why you shouldn’t.

5. Conformity.  That’s right.  Conformity.  Do you really want to be like every other shmuck that’s fucking and using the term, “Oh GOD!” while doing it?

4. Political Correctness.  What if you’re fucking a hindu chick and you scream OH GOD.  No, that would just be wrong!  I’ve always wanted to scream out OH VISHNU!!!!!!  But I’d probably start laughing and it might ruin the fucking mojo if I start screaming OH VISHNU every time it felt good.

3. European Pornstars.  That’s right.  Let’s blame the Euros!  See, I was kind of okay with using, “Oh GOD” during sex until I entered the porn world.  I was watching this one video in particular.  It starred this amazing looking redhead, nice fake boobs, she was getting fucked nice and hard.  Perfect right?  It was until she kept saying “Oh GOD” like Arnold FUCKINGSchwazzengger.

It wasn’t her fault.  The producers of the film was trying to palm off this beautiful Euro chick as an American.  So, they taught her two words to say, and she worked, oh not just once, but repeatedly.  I could have tolerated that, but then the euro guy that was fucking her also decided to start yelling OH GOD.  Suddenly it was like Hans and Frans fucking.

You don’t want to be like a European pornstar?  That’s right, so stop saying Oh GOD!

2. I’m starting to run out of real reasons for not saying Oh God.  I think I shot my load on OH Vishnu, Oh GOD that’s cracking me up, oops.  So #2 reason is just that I said so.  Stop it!

1. Now the #1 reason is about the type of sex you’re having.  If you can form words, any words, you are not FUCKING properly!  That’s right, if you’re not grunting like some sort of pig at dinner time, you’re just not fucking properly.  When you’re in the full swing of sex you should be grinding like some kind of wild animal, you should lose your ability to verbalize, and you shouldn’t be able to form 1 single word.

Oh GOD, should not even be possible say.  If you’re able to communicate, you’re not fucking, there’s an amateur video that’s circulating on the porn tube sites.  It’s this kind of nerdy guy, fucking some nerdy chick, and they’re having a full conversation as they fuck.

That’s right, I found the 20 minute long video and I’m telling you, watch it, they’re talking too much.  You know what though…It all started with OH GOD for this couple.  They were probably silent grunt fuckers and then that annoying chick said Oh GOD…then she decided that she should string full sentences together while she’s fucking.  NO NO NO Save yourself from the perils of becoming a talker.  Stay a grunter!  Don’t Verbalize!  OH VISHNUUUU!

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