Technology, what would we do without it?  The thing is we used to do without it just fine, but now we’re totally fucked if technology goes away.  For the last week I had bad internet problems and I was jittery like a crack whore that was cut off by her pimp from the good blow.

Day 1 started with my internet service being up and down off.  Now you’d think that I’d be like, “fuck it, I’ll do something else” but nope, every 30 fucking minutes it would disconnect, I’d wait for it to come back on, and then go through the annoyance of being disconnected again.  This is the first sign of addiction, especially since it went on for 3 fucking days like that.

Around Day 4, it was down for 3 hours each day, but then would come back online.  I started to feel like this was a 12 step program to slowly ween me off the internet.  You know, start with 30 minutes, then a few hours, and then….The net totally went out.

I’ll admit, I make my money online, friends, my downtime is online, and I use the internet to look every piece of worthless shit up.  That’s right, I watch a movie, and I go…”Let me visit IMBD to get a bio on this actor” because it’s not just good enough anymore for me to watch the damn movie, I need to know more….MOAR….and that my friend is the red pill that we all end up taking eventually.

The internet starts as some productive wonder tool and ends up with you watching 2 hours of Japanese prank shows because youtube keyworded and linked all the damn videos and like potato chips you couldn’t just eat one.  You go to break.com and suddenly you watch a few hours of dumbasses that don’t know how to fight beat each other up.  Suddenly that productive tool as becoming this mind numbing nothingness that we can’t live without.

A friend of mine is going on a cruise.  A nice fucking cruise to the caribbean and what’s the first word they say to me, “This is going to suck, I won’t have the internet” and I was just like, “Really?  Dude, it’s a fucking cruise, come on now”

So what’s the blessing of technology and the internet?  I’m going to have to say two things:  Porn and Digital Cameras.  Really they’re one thing, but let’s face it, everyone is making porn nowadays.  It might not end up on the internet but if you can’t talk your woman into getting naked infront of a camera…you’re just not a man.

Benchmarks in manhood have changed.  When I was going to highschool, it was good enough to say, “Yeah, I touched her boobs” and people would just believe it or call you out as a liar.  Most of the times, they’d believe it, unless you touched the boobs of some girl in “Canada” that’s right, and your friends will never meet this girl from “Canada” to verify this fact.

No, the benchmark of man now has become, “Yeah I touched her titties, and I got a flip video to prove it, BOOOYAH”…wait, I’m losing the thread of this blog post.

What’s the point of it?  Technology is a mixed blessing.  Eventually with my net down for so long I started doing other things that I enjoy and it was kind of an eye opening experience and I don’t necessarily want to get that hooked on the net anymore.  However, technology is great, it has exploded our perverted little world and every female is now a pornstar.  Doubt it?  Look at any woman on your block under the age of like, 50, and I bet you somewhere there’s some amateur porn shot of her.

Now to keep this post kosher as a porn post, I’m just going to the Pichunter Society and pulling some pictures of amateurs that would have never been seen if technology didn’t bring out their little pervert side:

This fine amateur goes by the name sexylisa, and all I can say is fuck yeah.  You realize that she’s probably dressed all conservative 99% of the day and then there’s that moment when she’s like with her boyfriend and going, “Hey, lets see what guys on the internet say about this”….Now sexylisa, I’ll say this much, I watch a ton of porn, and this picture totally drive me nuts.  You are one of the reasons technology is wonderful.

burnel, okay, it’s a weird screenname, but if she keeps posting pics like this my dick is going to break off because I can’t stop masturbating to amateur porn and she’s got one of the finest bodies I’ve seen.  Yes, that’s right, you make techology great burnel, thank you.

And it’s all shapes and sizes and this was posted by her husband.  You sir, are a man, that’s right because you’ve accomplished that simple goal of getting your woman to do some homemade porn.  Yeah tat’s right she’s not a pencil, she’s not a typical porn model, but you know she’s probably an absolutely great fuck.  I’m not kidding dude, if you’re into the sharing your wife thing fucking let me know.  God, I love technology.

Wait, here’s three photos coming your way of someone that just knows what a man likes, her screenname is sexxytexxy

That’s right, she’s taking most of these photos on her own, you can tell, and how sexy is that?  She didn’t even need some boyfriend to convince her that her naked body should be posted on the net and guess what, she knows exactly what Mr. Blue likes.  I swear I need to get Tarpy to set up a travel fund for me where I can fly in hot women from Pichunter Society to my love nest on Long Island.

The next photo shows a pervert that must have gone to art school:

So much to say here, a perfect body and oddly enough the guy made it look almost surreal perfect, this is like how a hot woman would look after you drank a bottle of everclear and was heading towards the white light.  Bonus points for the dude that went artistic with a perfect looking girlfriend.  Double bonus points for being an artsy dude that isn’t gay!

Check this out….

Even dudes that have fucked up looking couches can get a hot woman sitting naked on it and posing for pictures.  Seriously, that couch looks like something that’s in your grandmother’s basement and hasn’t done nothing since the 70′s.  Now, even dudes that are placed in this situation can get their hot girlfriends naked and doing amateur porn.  What the fuck is your excuse for not doing it?  Fucking guy has a granny couch and he’s still doing it and look at that girlfriend, UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE hot.  Dude, come on, this is me calling all you lame motherfuckers out.  Get your girlfriends to do webcam shows, porn shoots, start them slowly if you can’t get her spread eagle on a granny couch.

What to do with these pictures?  I gave you the idea, you fuckers better be hooking the Blue up with some fine new amateur porn.  Now get out of here bitches and do the homework assignment I gave to you.

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