Men love blowjobs.  I’m pretty sure if you find a man that doesn’t like blowjobs he’s doing one of the following things:

• He’s lying because he’s emasculated and knows that you don’t like giving them.
• He’s a psycho – cause, let’s face it, men love blowjobs.
• You’re a psycho and he’s worried about you biting off his dick the next time he pisses you off.

Okay, so now that we have scientifically proven that men love blowjobs, we should discuss the essentials of a good blowjobs and also address some concerns that women may have about putting the cum spewing beast in your mouth.

Pre-Blowjob Conditions:

Here’s some basics to consider before your significant other blows your dick.  These rules apply to those women that might be a little squimish or resistant to give a blowjob.  If you got yourself a whore, none of these pre-blowjob conditions apply.

• Be clean – that’s right, she’s about to put your dick in her mouth, think about that for a moment and then think…maybe I should shower a little more regularly.  I’ve never tasted dick myself, so, I can’t honestly say what the hell it tastes like, but I have eaten plenty of pussy in my life.  I have eaten some nasty tasting pussy in my life.  Just take this into consideration that if dick is stank you probably won’t get a repeat performance.Also there are flavored oils and things like that so you could add a more pleasant taste.  I know, it’s lame, but if my dick has to taste like a strawberry shortcake to get a blowjob, give me that strawberry shortcake and I’ll make it happen.
• Spit or Swallow – You’d think that this would come after the blowjob.  Wait, well, it does, but I think this is a concern before a blowjob happens and should be talked about beforehand.  I know, when they swallow it feels better, but if they spit it out, I’m not exactly going to care because that means she got me the hell off and I’m 3 minutes away from going to sleep anyway.However, what if she doesn’t want to have it in her mouth at all when you cum? This is fine in my books as well.  Let’s face it that not all women are going to be cum guzzling whores.  They may not like the taste, may not like the consistency, and I don’t really force the issue.  Cum on her tits, face, ass, whatever, at least you got 99% of a blowjob and sometimes that has to be enough.Women though should also realize that jizz will happen.  Constantly asking partner if he’s about to cum is lame, kills the mood, just make sure he knows to pull out beforehand if you’re really cumphobic.  Also, you don’t have to be so rigid about it.  When you see him getting near climax you don’t have to be like, “Get it out of my mouth”…instead start giving him a handjob and tell him to cum all over your face or just talk dirty.
• Finally, if you want blowjobs regularly you might have to (fill in the blank).  I know sex shouldn’t be a bargaining tool but it also shouldn’t be one sided.  Yes, that means you have to give a crap about pleasing her as well.  Does that mean eating pussy?  Maybe.  Does that mean lots of foreplay?  A nice dinner?  All that romantic crap women like?  Yeah, that’s exactly what it means.  Sex is a two way street, I know, I wish it was a one way street and I can get pleasured and go to bed afterwards, but it’s just not like that.Bottomline is you have to make her want to please you and sometimes that means putting a little more effort into it.

Tips for a Perfect Blowjob:

I’m writing this from a male’s perspective, so, women if you’re reading this…this is what feels good or at least what I’ve personally enjoyed:

• Don’t dread it! That’s right, if you’re going to give a blowjob, don’t start off with a negative mind set.  If you’re like, “Alright, I’ll give you a blowjob” and you’re kind of like whatever….that just slightly ruins the moment.  That’s not to say I wouldn’t cum down your throat anyway, but you’re already there why not make the most of it and make it completely enjoyable.Enjoy the moment, know that you’re making your husband or boyfriend wildly happy.  That you’re giving them a pleasure that ranks up there higher than almost anything else.  So, go in, be sensual and enjoy it.  Even if you’re not particularly fond of the act itself, you can get off on the pleasure you’re giving.
• Don’t be Dry: This is pretty much commonsense here.  Just make sure you have enough saliva going and if you don’t you can use an edible lube or even drinks, just make sure your mouth isn’t as dry as the Sahara Desert.
• Teeth or No Teeth:  That is the question.  Some guys don’t mind it, some even like it, but I’m not one of them and I think I’m pretty much in the majority on this one.  Avoid using teeth on most but explore and see if your partner likes it.  Generally though make sure your tongue on the bottom is covering your teeth and make sure your upper lip is covering the top.  Best way to describe this is when you do an imitation of a toothless old person.
• Use your Hands: Just because you’re using your mouth doesn’t mean you should leave the hands out.  Rub the balls (gently, don’t squeeze or you’ll abruptly end that blowjob), rub other parts as well…some like that space between the anus and balls rubbed.  Some even like a finger, umm, errr, up the ass (this one though proceed with caution).  Also you can switch off from blowjob to handjob if you need to take a breather, but not too long…cause this is a blowjob after all.
• Use your tongue: Okay, this seems like an obvious sorts of thing but use your tongue.  Lick the frenulum, glans, use your tongue to stimulate and tease.  It’s not just up and down, well, okay sometimes it is, but you can really heighten the pleasure of the moment.
• Eye Contact: If you’ve read this blog at all, you know my favorite blowjob pics have the pornstar looking up and making eye contact.  Just a few days ago I was commenting on this picture of Audrey Bitoni blowing a dick and looking upward.  It just makes that connection.  It’s a small thing, but hey, that’s one way to get a guy to look you in the eyes.
• Deep Throating: This to me is like spit or swallow.  If a girl doesn’t have a bad gag reflex and can take you deep, then go for it, if they can’t, it’s just the way it is.  Sure they could practice, maybe work on their gag reflex, but I’m personally of the opinion as long as most of my dick gets in the mouth…that’s all good for me.

These are the essentials to a blowjob.  There’s many other techniques, tips, tricks you can use.  For example, the peppermint swirl, doing a blowjob while sucking on a mint…using ice in your mouth (small amount as it can, umm, cause shrinkage), also food play when it comes to giving a blowjob.  That’s right, chocolate body paint, whipped cream, and one of the most unforgettable things I experienced was cheesecake being spread on the shaft and…let’s just say she liked the cheesecake a lot.

What you should take away form this is that sex is fun.  Pleasing your partner is one of the most amazing things you can ever do.  So, go forth, and do a blowjob.  Don’t worry ladies, I’ll be writing an article on the proper way to eat pussy in the near future.

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